STORIES MOTHERS

PTSD is a horribly debilitating condition. Following a traumatic event, sufferers of PTSD are left with a worldview which has been altered profoundly and which often leaves them deeply afraid and anxious, the future may look bleak as they struggle to liberate themselves from the images of the trauma they have endured. This can be particularly hard for women with ‘birth trauma’ because they often suffer these problems at a time when everyone expects them to be happy and positive.  As a result, they often end up feeling guilty and this lowers self-esteem.

The work Help Women and Children is doing in Britain involves showing women the first steps to recovery from their birth trauma by listening to their concerns, organizing workshops, and by creating national and international awareness amongst other things.  The amazing work in the community of Los Huertos in the district of Chorrillos, in the south of Lima, is even bigger. The charity has not only successfully removed families from the vicious circle of poverty but is also dealing with different traumas by being a listening ear, counselling and setting up small businesses for them.

If you would like to get involved as a Partner by giving £2.99 per month, want to sponsor a child in Peru, buy their products, or want to raise money for this charity by doing the Inca trail or going as a volunteer, please send an e-mail to info@helpwomenandchildren.com

STORIES IN THE UK	STORIES IN PERU
Story 1 - I felt so ugly within me, full of anger and grief	Story 1 - when I turned 10 years of age…he raped me
Story 2 - I feel like suicide is my only option	Story 2 - My husband snatched my 9-year old son
Story 3 - I can't ring any of the help lines because I just cry so much I can't talk	Story 3 - My mother went to rescue me after more than 2 years… now I am 11 years of age
Story 4 -  My c-section appears to have been totally unavoidable. My baby was experiencing no distress. I think my doctor just got tired of waiting	Story 4 -  I was so poor that my mother had to give me away to a lady called Alicia
Story 5  - She stuck her fingers into my sore, stitched vagina roughly without asking and I just  started sobbing uncontrollably	Story 5  - I suffered trauma after the birth of my third child

Story 2 :I feel like suicide is my only option I have been through 2 c-section births, the first being 3 years ago. I was 41 weeks pregnant and the hospital took me in to be induced. I had the 1st lot of prostin gel which brought on really painful contractions, but died off and me not dilating at all. The 2nd lot and 3rd did the same, I was in so much pain but the midwives were so unsympathetic, they kept telling me I was being silly. I had countless vaginal examinations during my week stay in hospital, and they were really painful as my cervix was really posterior and only 2 cms dilated. Nothing was happening and I was getting stressed out so a c-section was booked, and my girl was born very healthy. My recovery from the c-section was ok and I was really enjoying motherhood, until 5 weeks on I received a visit from the police telling me my partner (who was out for his birthday!) had been involved in an accident and was very poorly, likely to die! The next few months were terrible for me, I spent all day everyday in the hospital with him, he didn’t know who I was or that he had a daughter. I didn’t have time to worry about my birth experience as I had to concentrate on him. I really wanted a second child as I felt I missed out on my first, with what happened to my partner. This time I was so adamant on achieving a VBAC. My pregnancy was fine and when I got to 40 weeks, the consultant was not happy for me to go over my due date, increased risk of scar rupture apparently. I told them I really wanted a VBAC, in fact I had been obsessing about it the whole pregnancy. A week later at 41 weeks, the consultant told me he'd book a c-section for 41+4, but hopefully I'd go into labour before then. The night before the c-section, my contractions started on their own and got to 10 minutes apart. I had my c-section booked for that morning, so I went into hospital anyway and was very excited! When I was examined I was told I was very posterior and closed, it was so painful again and I was so upset. I began to feel the pressure of the doctors and everyone in my family telling me I might as well just get it over with and have the c-section. So it was, and my son was born this year. In theatre before having him, they took an hour to do my spinal block and it was so painful and I felt really sick because I thought it wouldn’t work. It worked OK, thank God, but when they pulled him out, they whisked him off and I didn’t get to see him until he was clothed and held him when I was in the recovery room. I said to myself that I was going to stick to breastfeeding this time, but because of the pain in my scar  I  found it really painful and deep down I felt a failure, so I stopped breastfeeding altogether. I cried for days after, not letting anyone think I was down. Everyone told me I was too posh to push..............if only they knew how I would have loved a vaginal birth. To feel myself pushing my baby into the world, to feel their skin on mine..............it’s a dream to me. I failed. Day to day I act fine, I don’t let no one know how I feel. I feel like a crap mum because I couldn’t birth them naturally or breastfeed them. When I hear normal birth stories I want to cry, why they can do it and not me!   I’m crying as I type this, I’ve become obsessed with having a normal birth, I even want another baby just to attempt a normal birth this time, but I know that it may never happen. I don’t think I’ve got depression because I am generally really chirpy, but when I think about stuff it hurts and I want to cry. I feel like suicide is my only option, I love my kids so much, they have everything but I don’t feel like I’ve brought them into this world properly and they can do without me. I’m really sorry this is so long and you've probably heard many more traumatic birth stories, but this really affects me. I know I’ve got 2 healthy happy kids, people keep telling me that, that’s what matters but I can help grieving for the births I so wished for. Thanks for listening Help Women and Children. 2 months later… You were very helpful and the booklet you gave me was brilliant and made me feel quite normal, that I wasn’t the only person feeling like this. I have since moved on but it's still there in the back of my mind and I worry about having another baby, as I don’t want the disappointment again. Doctors and HV don’t know enough about these feelings women may have after the birth and I think it would be a great idea to raise awareness of the problems that can arise with unexpected birth trauma. TO UP

Buy this booklet which contains all the successful stories from mothers and raise money for this charity

Buy Real Healing After Caesarean A Book written by a PTSD survivor.

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