STORIES MOTHERS

PTSD is a horribly debilitating condition. Following a traumatic event, sufferers of PTSD are left with a worldview which has been altered profoundly and which often leaves them deeply afraid and anxious, the future may look bleak as they struggle to liberate themselves from the images of the trauma they have endured. This can be particularly hard for women with ‘birth trauma’ because they often suffer these problems at a time when everyone expects them to be happy and positive.  As a result, they often end up feeling guilty and this lowers self-esteem.

The work Help Women and Children is doing in Britain involves showing women the first steps to recovery from their birth trauma by listening to their concerns, organizing workshops, and by creating national and international awareness amongst other things.  The amazing work in the community of Los Huertos in the district of Chorrillos, in the south of Lima, is even bigger. The charity has not only successfully removed families from the vicious circle of poverty but is also dealing with different traumas by being a listening ear, counselling and setting up small businesses for them.

If you would like to get involved as a Partner by giving £2.99 per month, want to sponsor a child in Peru, buy their products, or want to raise money for this charity by doing the Inca trail or going as a volunteer, please send an e-mail to info@helpwomenandchildren.com

STORIES IN THE UK	STORIES IN PERU
Story 1 - I felt so ugly within me, full of anger and grief	Story 1 - when I turned 10 years of age…he raped me
Story 2 - I feel like suicide is my only option	Story 2 - My husband snatched my 9-year old son
Story 3 - I can't ring any of the help lines because I just cry so much I can't talk	Story 3 - My mother went to rescue me after more than 2 years… now I am 11 years of age
Story 4 -  My c-section appears to have been totally unavoidable. My baby was experiencing no distress. I think my doctor just got tired of waiting	Story 4 -  I was so poor that my mother had to give me away to a lady called Alicia
Story 5  - She stuck her fingers into my sore, stitched vagina roughly without asking and I just  started sobbing uncontrollably	Story 5  - I suffered trauma after the birth of my third child

Story 5 :She stuck her fingers into my sore, stitched vagina roughly without asking and I just  started sobbing uncontrollably I'm normally a very shy, quiet person, and I'd normally do anything to avoid bringing attention to myself, but absolutely NOTHING I did beforehand could have prepared me for the kind of labour pain I experienced towards the last 2 hours of labour. The Entonox did squat for me during the last 2 hours, and without any other form of pain relief offered to me, I was in so much pain (the most physical pain I experienced in my life!) I kept telling my husband "I want it to end; I want it to end now"! I started wailing in pain. It didn't help either that the obs/gyn was entering the delivery room very frequently to check on me - and her way of checking is to keep sticking her fingers into my vagina roughly, without even asking first! The obs/gyn was disgusted with me, shouted at me all the time to shut up, and the only way I could do so was to start inhaling copious amounts of Entonox, the only form of pain relief available at that point since the hospital doesn't administer pethidine, only to be shouted at again by the obs/gyn for "inhaling too much Entonox" and she said I should "stop doing that!" Eventually she said she was going to do an episiotomy. I simply agreed, as I'd read about it in books and heard about it in antenatal class - but nobody told me how painful it was going to be. The obs/gyn injected a local anesthetic which was supposed to numb the area, but she immediately cut me up within seconds and I don't even think the anesthetic kicked in, because I felt every single stab of pain as she did that. Baby came out with just one push after that. Fine, but when she was stitching me up, it continued to hurt like hell and I was wincing with every stitch. I promptly got scolded harshly twice to "Keep still!!" because my wincing was making it difficult for her to stitch me up properly. I was unable to breastfeed successfully. I had no milk - I am already underweight pre-pregnancy (BMI : 15. All the trauma and pain I experienced, plus no food or drink was ever served to me, no Paracetamol either. My poor baby was screaming her head off even though I'd keep her mouth on my breast, hoping she'd be able to suck something out of them, but to no avail. Finally, I decided to ask for formula milk, and she only quiet down after she was given the SMA. A couple hours later, the same obs/gyn came back with a Consultant to do a checkup on me, and during that time, she stuck her fingers into my sore, stitched vagina roughly without asking (like she did during my labour) and I just started sobbing uncontrollably. The Consultant remained calm, but seemed a bit surprised at my reaction. The obs took her fingers out and told the Consultant there's absolutely nothing wrong with the wounds, but the Consultant replied in a not-too-nice tone  "What's all that stuff coming out? It’s not supposed to look like that" And he ordered her to wheel me into the operation theatre to get me checked out if I have a hematoma or something (can't remember the medical term). So when I was wheeled into the op theatre, the obs started to apologise to me for shouting at me during my labour, and said "No hard feelings, alright?" She also arranged for me to have a spinal anaesthesia while she took out the stitches and gave me a proper re-examination. She concluded that there was absolutely nothing wrong with me, and re-stitched me up again and ordered a course of antibiotics for me "just to be safe". When she left, I never saw her again. The next day, her 2 colleagues (doctors) came to give me a final checkup before I was allowed to be discharged. They came in and the one of them told me "They'd heard *all* about me" in a sort of negative tone, like they have heard nothing but bad things about me. Then they looked at my hospital notes and remarked "She prescribed you antibiotics? Hmm... There really is no need for that. Infections will only set in about 48 hours after, not now." They talked amongst themselves most of the time, and finally they looked at me and said I will be discharged the same day, and left.  I felt so embarrassed and ashamed by all that had happened that I decided against putting in a complaint to the hospital. Besides, my husband is also someone who hates creating trouble, and he was also of the opinion that I should just accept what happened and move on. So I did... Well, I thought I did... But now that I'm pregnant again, it’s very disturbing to find myself reliving that past experience quite vividly now. I'm seriously starting to get the jitters about my second birth. I'm sure that there's always the possibility of having a much better birth experience the second time round. I just feel so paranoid now, it’s really not on.  I don't think anyone can really help me with this, as I'm so used to the "Get over it, don't be so petty, grow up" kind of response from the medical "professionals" I've seen so far. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe I'm right, but I too am starting to get angry with myself for losing sleep over the past experience, but yet I can't seem to get rid of it. I just can't forget it entirely, no matter how much I try! I don't even know if this is the same as suffering from PTSD. I mean, I know I must have had it immediately after having my first baby last time, because I was seriously down in the dumps and kept reliving the experience in my head day in day out and feeling there was something I could have done different, etc. But I can't believe its coming back now. I'm determined however, to try and make this second birth a more positive experience for me as much as possible. After 3 months….. You're doing something really good for people by setting up a website to help them!  As for me, I'm doing fine - my baby's 6 weeks old now. I booked in for a home birth for my second during 30 weeks gestation because I heard that was the only way I could get one-to-one care during labour, despite only being allowed gas & air for home birth, I felt I could do it as long as I had sympathetic midwives with me. I suffered no tears and needed no stitches and it was a wonderful birth experience. I'd never give birth in a hospital again if I could ever persuade my husband to have another child... even though I'm feeling so broody now! If it helps your website in any way  my story, perhaps to encourage women with bad births in the past that things can really be better if they take a different approach. All the best Martha!! TO UP

Buy this booklet which contains all the successful stories from mothers and raise money for this charity

Buy Real Healing After Caesarean A Book written by a PTSD survivor.

Send your Story

Receiving help

Stories of fathers