Help Woman and Children

I was born in Cajamarca, a province in the sierra of Peru where life is very hard and people have to work land, which doesn’t belong to them. My father died when I was just 12 years old and then my mother had to work very hard in order to be able to feed us. At that age I also had to work hard, cooking and preparing drinks that we then sold in a nearby village to which I went with María, my younger sister who was 5 years old. My mother used to work in the field from dawn to dusk; yet the owner of this land only gave her a few cents for her work. My mother was always tense, tired and irritated, so she used to hit and insult me constantly. She used to tell me that I was no good for anything, that I did everything wrong, which made me feel very sad; in spite of this I continued to help her. I was always looking for a way to please my mother, and washed the clothes and helped her with everything, but I never got her approval.

After so many years of believing that I was no good for anything, I met my husband when I was 17 and we went to Lima. We stayed in the house of some of his relatives, where I started to be insulted and mistreated by his family. Every day they would throw me into the street when my husband left to look for work or obtained temporary jobs. I did not tell my husband this in order not to worry him, because he was a good man. We tried to move, but we couldn’t get the money. I used to go out to wash clothes carrying my small daughter Estefany on my shoulders. My older children went to school and I learned that those relatives used to beat my children when their father and I went out to work.

One day we were told that there was a piece of land that had been abandoned for a long time and was full of rubbish because its owners didn’t come to see it. We went and asked the owners to let us live there and take care of their land. They agreed and we spent many days cleaning the place up and building a little house made from matting. In this way the mistreatment and insults for my 3 children and me ended.

After 5 years I was pregnant again with my fourth child, Diego. Almost throughout my pregnancy I suffered intense pain in every part of my body, and I thought that Diego was going to be born at 6 months. I blamed myself for all the pain that I was suffering in my body and remembered by mother’s words, that I was no good for anything. Finally the day of his birth arrived, but my labour lasted many hours. I really thought that I was going to die, that everything was going to end there, that I was going mad; I didn’t have the strength for anything, but finally Diego was born naturally, although I bled badly since the doctors made me strain too much. Suddenly I heard my baby cry, they put him on my stomach, which was extremely painful, but I didn’t have the strength to hold him. I immediately fell into a deep sleep from which I didn’t awake for several hours.

When I finally awoke, I was unable to turn onto my side, I felt sleepy and had no strength to listen, I could only read the nurses’ lips and understand what they were saying by their gestures. One nurse moved my body roughly and shouted at me “Wake up!”. She didn’t understand how much pain I was in. She gave me my baby and almost ordered me to feed it. I didn’t feel like doing anything, I felt pressurised to do it, all I wanted was to be left in peace; I wanted to be left alone and rest. My husband helped me a lot to recover physically.

When I went to Help Women and Children I was somebody who felt very bad emotionally, thinking that I was useless, that I got everything wrong and was worthless as a person, because my own mother had rejected me since I was a child. I also suffered trauma after my last baby was born and they understood me and didn’t reject or minimise my memories and tears. Señora Noemi counselled me for many months, listening to everything that I had pent up inside; she was very patient with me and showed me a lot of love. This organisation taught me my worth as a person, that life is different, I feel loved, accepted, respected, no longer rejected! I saw a way forward in life for my family and me. They helped and are still helping Estefany with everything that she needs to go to school; they helped me to obtain my identity document and gave me guidance in setting up my own business. Then they gave me a knitting machine so that I can run my own business without neglecting my children. From next year, 2007, they are going to pay for my professional knitting studies so that I can improve in this area and make clothes. I feel very grateful to this organisation because I am gradually climbing out of the extreme poverty in which I lived and I really hope that they will continue to help women like me. I hope with all my heart that they will be known for their love and patience for everybody like us, forgotten, abandoned women. Thank you Help Women and Children.